


When I'm gone

by Electeric_Leafeon



Category: Original Work
Genre: Origin Story, Other, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 05:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16382225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electeric_Leafeon/pseuds/Electeric_Leafeon
Summary: Sometime's you're just frustrated with your mundane life, sometimes you just want a change, and sometimes you just gotta go head first into your future. A big decision is big, and can truly cause a ripple effect...





	When I'm gone

Brisk and cool blew in my face. The sun slowly crept along the mist, shining it's warm rays on the melting snow. The grass shimmered patches of emerald in the morning frost. Trees fenced the road on each side, with no commitment to grow its buds. I was recklessly zooming at 140 kilometres an hour, speeding towards my goal. Once more I looked back, going over my decision. Was it right? Was it just? What will everyone think when they realize that I’m gone? It all seemed to go so fast, but at the same time oh so slowly. I returned my gaze to the road, seeing a four-way road stop and there, like every other block on my road there was a white freight truck. It had broken down right in the middle of the intersection. The driver was on the phone. I saw his face turn white, his eyes grow wide. I heard him yell but I did not listen. It was too late I couldn’t turn back now. So I felt it. I felt the sudden force of the immovable white truck repelling my own as my motorbike crashed into it. I felt my body weightlessly fly up as if confirming my meaningless existence. I felt my skull shatter within me as I impacted the white solid truck. I felt my warm blood tickle my cheeks as I lay there on the cold pavement. Breathlessly I whispered,

  


“I wonder what they will think when they realize that I’m gone.” 

The school bell rung, and like caged animals set free, we all rushed to pack our things and leave. It was Tuesday, and we still had three more school days until our required weekly two-day break. School life is a cycle, changing only slightly with every new year. Daily conversations were never the same, but they all had the same theme of hopes, worries, and concerns of whatever mundane thought fluttered through our minds. I was tired of this, we all were. I could see it in our panda eyes, our posture, and manner of speaking. Even the energetic, happy-go-lucky types felt trapped in this life. Every day when I see these sorry faces that I've known since diapers, I always thought: ‘why do we have to be here? Why are we learning this?’ Teachers would say how we needed this for our daily lives, to advance our minds for university or college. Mother always said it was so our age group could be kept from the real world until we were mature enough. ‘To hell with that’ I say, there are things I wanna get done, I don't want to waste away this lovely youth in classrooms learning Shakespeare and quadratic functions.  
  


My dream is to become a baker, it’s one of my most favourite pastimes. It’s a career that doesn't require essays or algebra. If anything, it requires chemistry, but halogens and noble gases are nowhere near sugars and sauces. The nearby college in the closest city offers an apprenticeship for baking. Ever since I discovered it in a booklet in the autumn career fair our school holds I've been working my butt off to get into the apprenticeship, not because it was hard to get into, but rather to keep it a secret. At first, I did confront my mother about, she gave me a stern look and said,

  


“Baking? Really? I’ll support you, but I think you should go into an engineering program that involves chemistry. I really think that's your talent, remember you won that science fair in fourth grade when you explained the science behind elephant toothpaste. Baking really is more of a hobby for you, but if this what you want to do… At least finish high school and get a scholarship.” Her words echoed in my head on my walk back home. Grinding my teeth at the frustration of the underlying disapproval beneath that sense of support. That was the trigger for my decision. I was done with this life here. The next months were full of excuses for fake projects and assignments so I could sneak off to the city and take the required entrance exam, as well as searching for an employer for the apprenticeship.

  


School was boring and nothing more than a hundred roadblocks to slowing down my destiny, there was also no relationship I would be willing to stay for. I did have two best friends, but even they wanted to leave this shit hole. Actually, they were the only ones who supported my decision. They would come too but Lekon has a girlfriend, and Mark wants to be an architect so he actually needs some high school courses. I was on my own for this one, I promised I would keep in touch through social media, sending them pictures of the big city where everything was more interesting due to its larger mass of people, buildings, and stress. I stopped for a moment in front of my house. It had the classic 80’s suburban architecture, a floor for bedrooms upstairs, a ground floor and a basement. Memories of a badly structured nuclear family drifted to mind.

  


My father was distant, and my sister didn’t get along with mom, so arguments in the house were always brewing. Father left first, a month after he taught me how to ride a motorbike at the prime age of twelve, then my sister right after she graduated high school two years later. I liked my sister, although she was often a ‘know-it-all’ girly girl who pampered herself with makeup and dresses, she had a badass air to her. I knew somewhere deep down, she was a hardcore independent individual. Perhaps my theory came from the one time she saved my skin from a cruel teacher at recess years ago when I was still in elementary, she in junior high, who was putting unfair blame onto me. My sister had set a spell of comebacks, and retorts that left the teacher speechless, and earned her a week of detention in my stead. She was also unnaturally good at basketball.  
I smiled at the reminiscence of my sister while entering my home, she often bossed me around and loved to prove that she was smarter than me. She left at the first chance she got right after she applied for a cinematography course. Mother as usual highly disagreed with the career choice, and really nagged her to go into environmental technology.

  


“You really have a knack for biology! Remember those times you helped me in the garden when you were little? You loved nature and all the things that came with it. If you really applied yourself to chemistry next year…” She had said once over dinner.

  


“Mom, that was eight years ago! I’m only doing biology because it's the easiest science. I want to study film, and there’s no way I’m doing chemistry.”  
“Oh sweetie, you know there’s no future in that. Look at your cousin Bennie, he studied that, and couldn’t find a job for years. He works as a secretary now for some printing company after having to spend money again on a quick course to get him a stable job.” They kept on arguing after that. That’s when my father took me to the garage to avoid all the noise and begun to teach me how to ride his black Harley-Davidson fat boy. Maybe it was because of a sense of guilt left from previous arguments with my sister that my mom laid off on my career choice when I came up to her about it.

  


Mother wasn’t home yet, thankfully. I dropped my bag in my room, and immediately head to the kitchen and started preparing tomorrow's breakfast, and lunch. It was a two hour and a half drive to the city, he would have to buy his dinner, but at least the first two meals of the day we're going to be free. I was going to set into action my grand escape tonight at the crack of dawn. Having finished preparing my meals for the day to come, I began packing whatever was left to pack.  
Dinner was quiet. Mother was tired after a busy day at the diner. I suddenly began feeling an odd swelling ball of guilt well up inside me, seeing my mother’s tired face. My heart began to beat at a sense of anticipation. Thoughts crept up into my head. ‘What will your mother do? All by herself in this big house. She will get lonely.’ She has her to-be boyfriend to socialize with as well her co-workers, she’s a grown woman she’ll be fine. I’ll leave her a note telling her where I’ve gone, and what I’m doing so she doesn’t worry. ‘You’re so young, are you sure you can do this? You too will be all alone in an unfamiliar city.’ I can take care of myself, already do so at home anyways. The tenacious thoughts continued all the way into the night, somehow I managed to fall asleep.

  


My alarm quietly rang its chimes next to my head. Tired and sleep deprived, I changed in silence. I had the heavy feeling that what I was doing was wrong, but I already signed the contract for on-campus living. My dream to become a baker, it was so close, I could almost feel the atmosphere of a bakery; taking in orders, kneading the fresh dough, feeling the welcoming heat of the oven. I was almost there, just another day. My ambition fueled my actions, grabbing my bags, taking me to the motorbike, walking it three blocks away so mother wouldn’t hear its engine start. It was time. My heart pumped adrenaline through my veins as I cranked the motorbike to life. It’s soft leather seat welcoming the adventure, it's heavy rumble accompanying my ambition. Today was the day, and I set off.

  


I turned back to see the lights that I once called home, become distant sparkling stars twinkling a goodbye. I left my mom a thorough note as to what I was up to, to maybe calm her worries. Laughter rippled within me. I laughed like never before, taking glory from what I have just gone, I cranked up the speed and accelerated onto my goal. I watched the bleeding colours of early dawn crawl up from the east. A sense of sadness came onto me. Were they going to miss me? How long will it take for the teachers and other classmates to realize that I had left them for good? What will mother think? I began to imagine different things they might say. I made sure not to cry, I didn’t want to feel my tears freeze onto my skin. I looked back once more with a feeling of curiosity. The twinkling lights were melting away into the hills, and I whispered to myself,

  


“I wonder what they will think when I’m gone.”


End file.
